Life as we don't know or see it.

It just happens to all of us. 


You know? Those wonderful things you think life could offer you. You plan and plan and plan and plan then boom! The bills starts rolling in, you have to feed yourself three times a day, you have transportation expenses and you need to work to survive everyday of your life. Easily put, Life happens and things... well, they change. 


The priorities you previously have suddenly turns into ashes and you are left with a thought, "What if?" 


With everything that have happened, I have realized that not only did the things surrounding me changed, I did to. I have to. Still, I'll be dreaming and I'll never stop because when everything is said and done, my dreams will be all I have. 


ALSO...


I had a quick 2 day trip to Cebu and here are some photos. :) 

Its my first time to try this. Fish Spa at SM Cebu

There were three sizes of fishes, small, medium and large. The fishes were too large I got too scared to dip my feet. Hahaha

I asked my cousin to take this just because but I will forever and ever love Davao.

Scrumptious Ribs at Casa Verde 

Taoist Temple 

I want to be lucky this year of the dragon so I took a picture under this "bagwa" 

I asked for "health" "happiness" and "success," I hope she prayed well for me. Haha 

First time at Magellan's Cross. 

Inside the basilica. It was gorgeous. 

eSPECIALly for you.

One weird thing about me is that when I'm sad, I write. I tend to be dramatic and a wuss. I barely cry so I hold on to all the tears wanting to fall, get myself together , get a piece of paper and write. Yes, you are right, at this very moment, I AM SAD. 

I'm not special. Growing up, I was forced to believe I was but in my heart I knew I was nothing but ordinary. I always try to act right. My cousins had these loving parents who always compared their kids to me. They say all the nice things, have all nice things and make sure I know it. My parents, on the other hand, was not that loving in terms of comparing me, they would always agree to my cousin's parents and I would be, well, Ordinary. 

In the years that passed, I became someone I'm not proud of. In high school, I was a mediocre student and by senior year, I met alcohol and started partying in the wee hours of the morning. College was worst. I drank too much, slept too late, wasted too much money and expected too much. 

By the time I graduated from college, my cousins were pregnant. I finished high school being part of the top ten, graduated college in four years being part of the first section while some of my friends still have subjects to go through. In my own right, I WAS SUCCESSFUL. I didn't bring any boys home ( not that there was any), I got good grades and never went home pregnant. I was proud of myself. To them, though, I'll always be ordinary despite the fact I don't ask for financial assistance from my sister because I have a stable job and despite the fact I pay for my parents healthcare.

I'm now 22, damaged and I always have that dream in my head ( you know, the stuff you make up that you wish would someday come true) that I could be a better individual if my own family never treated be ordinarily because I know after all that I've been through... geez, am I special. 

A Bitten Apple that changed the world.

Like the billions of people in the world, I am one who cannot get over Steve Jobs' passing. Working at an Apple Premium Reseller, he was the person I truly admire since I first caught sight of that bitten apple years ago. 

I will forever remember the day that I got to hold my first iPod, it was Magic. Some girls dream of meeting the love of their life or having their first kiss during that time, whilst I was dreaming of getting that gadget that changed the way I listen to music. When I first saw it on TV, it was love at first sight. Up until now, every time I put my earphones on, I felt tranquility, peace... convenience, simplicity, just the way Steve wants it. 

I knew of Steve's passing when I launched Safari on my Mac. That moment, that was the way he wanted it. It was all over the internet, Twitter, Facebook and etc. Yes, he's popular as Apple's CEO, but more than that, what he did that caught the world was that he changed the world. I will forever love Apple products, I will forever praise Apple, I will forever study about Apple's products. Not because its cool, its expensive or its high end but because I've learned that in Simplicity there is Beauty. Apple's products is Simple yet elegant, high end yet personal, Expensive yet worth it. 

More than anything else, Apple was founded by a creative genius. He did not graduate from college nor did he brag about being in any of the top universities in the world. He was a creative genius in his own right. Kudos to the undergrads, to the crazy ones, to Steve Jobs... who changed the world. 

Whatever right the world may give him, what I feel about his passing will always be personal. Every time I see that bitten Apple, I will always remember how great he was. How great I can be. Thank you for making the world easier for people to communicate, for making your products easy to learn and easy to teach, for making the iPad for my senior citizen clients easy to use, for making the iPhone easy to sync so that my clients contacts will be just on one phone even if they travel in different countries, for making the iPod so colorful and so easy to use that all our songs can just be in one tiny machine, for making the Mac so elegant that it intimidates non Apple users, for adding the iLife applications so easy to learn that my clients are left dumbfounded. I have so many things to be thankful for but it all boils down to one, Thank you for changing My life. 

To end, my favorite Apple commercial. Cheers, Steve, you did place a dent in the universe. :) 

I met this beautiful girl.

Let's face it, I'm lame and lousy. I always thought that God would never give me struggles I couldn't face. I'm having a hard time every time I could not get something done or I would never have something. I feel restless or worst, hopeless and I stay at one corner and cry then… forget. That's what I'm good at, forgetting. 

Last Saturday, while out with my friends. I met this beautiful girl. I was drunk and she was not only beautiful on the outside but the way she carried herself was astonishing. As I said, I was drunk and when I'm drunk, I sleep. I don't do bizarre things when I'm drunk. I just sleep, I'm really not that complicated. Then, when I woke up, they were still drinking. So we ended up just talking about random things and she and her friend left after. My friends slept and since I was near the church and I was already awake, I attended mass. After, we ate at Mercato and when Tin and I were left, that was when I learned her story. That beautiful girl's story. You know those people? Those who are too drunk to function, they end up story telling their life? I think she was that girl. I was not turned off after. In fact, I looked up to her more. 

I will not give the details of her life but there was one thing I was sure of, people who have been through a lot of shit are the strongest people in the world. Nothing could ever break them. 

Here are a few things I've learned from her.

1. "Ang pag-ibig parang taxi lang yan, pag iniwan ka ng isa, may papara't papara parin sayo." 

2. "Yang boyfriend mo, pangkabuhayan showcase yan, pero isipin mo, mahal niya ba ang mga taong mahal mo?" 

3. "I asked my boyfriend before to buy me a shampoo, he texted back to me to get a DOM, I didn't reply, he texted back a few minutes later that he already had money. I didn't reply. He texted mean things like, "tangina kang babae ka, pera lang ang blah blah blah" So I replied, "Haven't you heard of the girls you met at bars?" 

4. "Bakit ko papakasalan ang lalakeng walang pera, lumaki ako sa hirap, hindi ko papayagang lumaki rin sa hirap ang anak ko." 

5. "You know boys, sometimes you have to let them take their own medicine" 

Comparing myself to her, I was nothing. People like her, people that true are the best people you will ever meet. They just don't have the experience, they also have the courage to face the demons surrounding their lives. As for me, I'll look up to her, of course but I will never be like her. In my own ways, I've learned not to be as strong as she is, but I've learned to cope with my demons. Someday, when I'm left with nothing, I will always be reminded that women are braver and bolder than men. 

I will be left with just that thought and I know, I'll survive. 

Random pictures from that night… 

On being alone

Society taught me to be sociable, to be in a a circle, to do things, to live and to love. Basically, everything I'm doing, I've learned from society. I always thought that I'm not naturally conyo. If society taught me to speak straight Bisaya, I'd be very fluent. But then, as I've said, Society taught me to be conyo. So here I am, born and raised in the land of promise with little knowledge on the native dialect. 

What I am is made by Society. The social media, for example, have taught things. Not only do they give information, they also teach you how to live according to some "standards." I'm a product of everything Society established. Since from my analysis, everything I do is taught to me by society, did Society taught me to be scared? 

In the old times, women get married at 18. I'm 21 years old, alone and I'm scared. I've been the butt of jokes for the past years because of my status. I've never had a boyfriend and getting older and older each day. So, who taught me to be this scared person? 

I'm rambling. I don't know who to blame on why I'm like this. 

What's up, Buttercup?

It's been five months and since I can't think of anything to write about, I'll do a photoblog instead. 

I already started working or training or whatever. Haha! During the first  months, I was actually having fun. I always thought that my type of work is the only job I can think of that allows me to learn and earn at the same time. Being away from my parents also taught me a lot. I now know how to do my own laundry, cook rice, clean the house and uhm... budget my money? I'm not really sure with the last one. Ha ha ha! 

I've meet a lot of great people and I've been to more places in Luzon that I've ever been in Mindanao. :) 

I'm just living... on the slow lane... 'till I know my purpose. 

I don't know what to blog, I just miss writing too much.